Camping, is my favourite place to be; a place engulfed with fresh air, surrounded by endless nature and a sense of safety.
Walking along the pier, watching the sun graciously fall and the moon elegantly rise.
There is nothing I love more than being in in the countryside and by the sea with my family, it is the one place where I feel as if nothing can go wrong. From the age of 14 I have suffered with panic attacks, I don’t like to use the word suffered but how else do you describe having panic attacks it’s like a disease I cannot get rid of; it follows me around everywhere I go silently lurking in the background and when you don’t expect it, it springs on you and slowly drains you of your energy like a tiger attacking its pray. It is not something I like to talk about as I find it embarrassing because when people ask why I have them I have to tell them I don’t know (no one understands this and they think I am hiding something but most of the time I actually don’t know why It’s happening, it just does).To others it may look like I have it all under control as if it is a wild animal I have tamed, but I can feel the pressure build up in my stomach until I burst but I can’t show people that because then everyone asks me if I’m ok and brings me drinks; I know there trying to be nice but it just makes it worse. Some people think I am overreacting to get attention but trust me that is the last thing I want.
The only place I don’t feel the pressure and I almost become oblivious to my panic Is when we go camping.
Imagine this; comforted by the warm hug of the sun wrapping its arms around you, salty sea water smiles as it waves by, the welcoming smell of fresh fish and chips, crunchy sweet rock dancing on my taste buds and the delicate sound of laughter filling the air. All this, compact neatly into one little place.
I know, it’s almost too good to be true!
I am not suggesting that everything is perfect; there is still the constant worry that an overhead seagull may decide to do its business on your head or that the ice lolly stain won’t come out of your new white top.
It doesn’t have to be perfect; if it was it wouldn’t be real.
Where is your favourite place to be? Let me know in the comments and if you have panic attacks or anxiety don’t be scared face it head on.
Enjoy life and all the other stuff!


The journey of a book

A book is like a journal, written by a person from an alternative universe.
Buying a book is like being given access to this universe. It is so simple, all you have to do is merely hand over some money and you have someone else’s ideas, inspirations… someone else’s universe that they have taken maybe years perfecting on paper and it’s just handed over to you like it’s nothing. Buying a book is so simple; I have this feeling that it should take more of a process. For many people it is just words on a page; to someone else this is their hard work, their creation and its should take more than an exchange of money to possess it.
I know it sounds silly but I feel like people should have to take an oath to care for: the chapters, the words, the different fonts, italics, bold, full sentences in capitals….
The little universe inside.
Then there is the start, curled up in the corner of my bed like a house cat, surrounded by a barricade of cosy cushions, holding in my hands the start of an adventure!
Knock, knock on the front of the hardback waiting to be let in; I pause as if I am waiting for an invitation. The smooth feel as I trace the path of the title with my index finger. I rip open the book to middle, closing my eyes so I don’t see what’s inside (no spoilers!), I dig my face in the pages and inhale as hard as I can and then slam it closed. There is no way to describe the smell, it is the sort of smell you describe other smells with.
Delicately, I open to the first page and begin to read, I cling onto every word so it doesn’t drift away. Before I know it I have finished the first chapter. It’s not just the first chapter though it is the begging of my journey through the little universe that is waiting to be discovered.
After many hours of reading, I am now at the middle of the book. Half way through the journey and I already feel like I know the characters like family, anticipating the end but also not wanting to finish. I open to the page held by an empty packet of tissues that I put in place last time, the smell of fresh pages hits my face as soon as the book is open.
The last chapter.
The end is close and as much as I want to know what happens, I don’t want the journey to end. I have practically lived and breathed this story for days and soon the story will end.
The last page.
I grip onto every last word, until there is no more words to hold on to. The final word hangs on my lips for a few seconds, I take one last sniff of the fresh pages and flick through it like a flip book and slam it shut.
Now what?
This little universe has ended and is stuffed onto a dusty shelf waiting to be read another day.
Although this universe has come to an end there is so many more to be discovered.
I hope you liked my insight into book reading and I do hope that many of you go on to discover new and uncharted universes and treat everyone special because someone out there has put so much time and effort in creating it just so you can.
Enjoy life and make the most of all the other stuff!